i don't want love... it seems repulsive anymore... it has no point.... I GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck the search.. i love music and cats.. that is the extent of my life it seems.. i will probably end up killing myself sooner or later anyhow. it seems only enevitable.. blink blink blink.. cursor again.. sorry.... anyway.. fuck woman, fuck relationships... fuck it all... i just don't want it anymore. and as far as tabitha goes... i guess it was a stupid thing of me to get into... same for all of the emotional attachments i ever formed for girls.... i'm going home... and i'm going to call mike.. and i'm going to write a song.. i probably wont get on the computer much anymore.. don't see a point.. (sorry ally and every one else). another thing i will do when i get home is laundry.. and then job search... for serious this time.. tired of being nagged and supported.
i guess this is bye.... for who knows how long.. instead of leaving a response on here.. since i wont be checking it anytime soon.. call me if you wish... if oyu don't know my number.... i guess you either don't care enough to keep track of it or i didn't tell you... if i didn't tell you.. you didn't ask or i refused to tell you.. in which case of the refusing.. you aren't important enough to me to be calling me in the first place or even cared for enough to care if you call for that matter... in any case.. i don't expect the phone to ring off the hook.. i don't expect any one to call.. so feel free to neglect the phone matter.. i could care less about what youhave to say.. if you are naomi.. the message below this next line is for you.
naomi, i guess it just wasn't supposed to be like most things right? i doubt we will ever talk again.. i don't really expect you to call.. don't know what you would call for in the first place.. either way.. good luck in life.... shit happens.. and i just take part in it... i cause every one greef at one point anyway.. hope you don't hate me for the asshole that i am. sorry i led you on.. and sorry if i made things difficult for you in anyway... you did your share too though.
onto the ending of this entry.. if i die or kill myself anytime soon.. get over it.. -blink blink blink- cursor.. wanna know something? the thoughtof some one remembering me after death is disturbing as all fuck.. so forget about me.. as if that would be a problem anyway right? i'm not sure how long this thing will stay open.. so.. yeah.. lol.. tough shit.. if i'm dead i wont be able to care anyway. and yes.. i guess it is a bit pathetic that i am so depressed over such things.. but.. it is not just the recent happenings.. it's a whole bunch of shit throughout my life..recent sit just adds to it. i hate you all.. get over it.. call me if you must.